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Exclusive Interview: Suri Cruise
Currently buried under a handful of headlines on CNN.com about some kind of terror thing is today's biggest, most important story: Vanity Fair has apparently gotten their grubby little hands on the first pictures of Suri Cruise, daughter of noted Scientologists Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes. Why is this story important, you ask? It's only a picture of a baby, you say? Clearly your finger is far from the pulse of America. But Vanity Fair is one step behind. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but if those words are "here's a picture of a baby," they're useless. That's why Minutiae's own Jeff Martin got a hold of little Suri for a sit-down - or in her case, lying-on-your-back, interview.
Jeff Martin: Suri, there has been quite a bit of hubbub surrounding the public release of your first photo shoot. Why did it take five months for you to step out of your parents' shadows?
Suri Cruise: To be honest with you, I didn't want to appear that I at all supported my father's role in Mission: Impossible III.
JM: But that movie was well received...why the hostility?
SC: The second movie was crap, there should never have been a third. Besides, there wasn't a lick of Scientology in that movie. L. Ron would have been appalled.
JM: Have you spoken with your contemporary Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt? Are you two close?
SC: I don't talk to that bitch. Takes me half an hour just to say the kid's name. But I am in negotiations with her publicist. How she got People and I'm stuck with Vanity Fair, I'll never know.
JM: Suri, do you understand America's fascination with celebrity babies?
SC: Absolutely. You know the old saying "even ugly people can have cute kids," right? Well imagine what the kids of beautiful people look like. It's probably not even safe that you're looking at me. Celebrity babies bring down self esteem quicker than having Mel Gibson drunkenly insult your faith. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get burped.
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sjuhawk31) wrote,
